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2009 Bianchi pista soon. Solid silver rims with vintage 1870’s pearl inlay from the rare pearls from Hagata bay Japan. the spokes are made from steel from the World Trade Center in honor of the dead victims of 9-11. The tires are cast from authentic Amazonian Brazilian rubber supplied by the Bonti Tribe. I broke open the welds and re-did them with silver from a silver mine in the hills outside Mandoza Argentina in honor of the 120 miners that died there in a collapse in 1982. All ball bearings have been resized and fitted from the engines from the Enola Gay (the Bomber used to drop the bomb on Hiroshima). The brake pads are made from the felt of a vintage Stetson derby reputedly owned by Charlie Chaplin (but we have no way of knowing for sure). The handle bar is a riser crafted out of the steel from a section of the Titanic propeller that was especially brought up by a boutique bike parts company in California. The grease was extracted from Polar bear fat but dont worry. They were not killed by hunters but there bodies were found as they drown swimming between melted ice flows (they did not die in vane). AND the saddle is made from the scrotum of a Sperm whale (very comfortable). Im off on my round the world ride. BTW, I turn 70 next month. I almost forgot: Chris King headset and Campy brakes.
Submitted by JQNYC
32 Comments Received
March 7th, 2010 @11:45 am
mmhm, and is that 100% whale scrotum? i hear 50% whale scrotum + %50 dinosaur skin makes a godly seat.
March 7th, 2010 @2:03 pm
hahhaha you can tell hes a funny guy. thanks for the laugh JQNYC
March 7th, 2010 @3:29 pm
Lots of BullSHIT but if you are almost 70 TBTG then I’m not the oldest critic on this site. I would take off all the labels and the rear brake and invert the risers if comfortable, have a beer and take a ride and feel good about myself. Thanks
March 7th, 2010 @5:37 pm
whats to say-enjoy
March 7th, 2010 @6:35 pm
Fast track sloman for preacher/peacemaker !
March 7th, 2010 @8:36 pm
And there you have it folks…None of it was in vain. I for one feel a whole lot better. Thanks JQNYC.
March 8th, 2010 @12:39 am
Lame
March 8th, 2010 @4:36 am
What lame? Those are Orey gips on there buddy!
March 8th, 2010 @1:04 pm
This is like the “best of” section on craigslist. I wish more descriptions were like this.
March 8th, 2010 @2:59 pm
I think Luftmensh might not have said that if you were able to confirm whether or not you had the Oury grips made from the same authentic Amazonian Brazilian rubber supplied by the Bonti Tribe as the tires. C’mon man, these details are important!
March 8th, 2010 @3:43 pm
Luftie may have been looking down when he said that !
March 8th, 2010 @7:22 pm
I get it. It’s a joke. Great joke.
March 8th, 2010 @9:17 pm
A joke? A JOKE! This bike is a loving dedication to the art of the fixed gear (or single speed… *okay… I may be a wimp but the rear brake is Campagnolo*) A joke is anyone who rides a bike and doesn’t know a deep V rim from an NJS hub. I cringe when I hear about the fools who put regular air in their tires when its so obvious that helium will make your bike lighter. No these are stock Oruys. I ran out of the authentic Amazonian Brazilian rubber supplied by the Bonti Tribe and then ran out of money after the price of silver shot up while in the middle of the last few welds. If you really love this bike and want to honor dead polar bears you’ll send me some money. I would have taken the Bianchi labels off but it was too much work. I guess Im lazy and don’t really give a fuck about personalizing the thing *childish, angry sarcasm*. Besides I …unlike some of you, have my priorities in order. Well… Okay I’m human… I am embarrassed to admit that I had the frame shipped directly to a DHL office in Milan on its way stateside in order to get the “imported from Italy” stamp onto the Tiwanesse box but …it didnt work… It still said “Made in Taiwan” in spite of its obvious vintage, Italian pedigree… lesson learned.
March 8th, 2010 @9:25 pm
I HAVE A SET OF AMAZONIAN BONTI TRIBE OURY’S I WOULD BE WILLING TO TRADE FOR SOM SPERM WHALE SCROTUM HIDE.
March 8th, 2010 @10:40 pm
Don’t do it bro. Hang on to those Bonti Ourys. The whole Sperm Whale scrotum saddle trend is the next “front Aerospoke”.
March 8th, 2010 @11:46 pm
what! i just got a front aerospoke made out of the elephant man’s bones. it’s baller.
March 11th, 2010 @11:08 am
10 star for putting a couple hours of googling into your post!
March 28th, 2010 @8:44 pm
i like the chrome and white. i was thinking of doing that for my bike. if you add a kid or dog in your photo maybe you can get top rated!
May 8th, 2010 @11:25 am
JQ I voted a 10 for this today. I see you use cages. What do you recommend for my used MKS pedals as cages. I have never been caged other than marriage. Some say plastic is the way to go. What do you recommend ?
May 8th, 2010 @12:28 pm
I’d go with steel cages hammered out of the nails from the cross. Nothing less would do for this beast.
I love the inventiveness here. Keep it up lads. JQ, you rock.
May 8th, 2010 @12:34 pm
Bone of course! Narwal seems to be the most flexible but I still managed to keep breaking them. I moved on to Mamoth bone I find it a little stiff with just the right give. The blind bone carvers of madagascar do an okay job of crafting the things from the bone that I have to DHL to them (thanks Fedex –you’re too expensive) but I think they’re over-rated. I found a small factory in China that uses 8 year olds to do the nicest work at a good price. Right now? Im stuck with elephant tusk cages from west Africa. The craftmanships is okay (I suppose it could be worse). The only decent mamoth bone comes from a small cave on the Russian Georgian border. These governments really need to get it together. I need my mamoth bone.
May 8th, 2010 @12:50 pm
JQ; Not too far from us is an old cement works.The raw material came from the hill behind it. It’s not a hill anymore. During the lifetime of this quarry, many prehistoric remains were unearthed. I’m sure I could kidnap a small cadre of public school type chaps.Hand them some shovells and threaten them with the prospect of a state education if they don’t dig. It may only take a few weeks for them to excavate enough rhino fossils to fashion several workmanlike sets of toe clips. What size does sir require? We may be able to do a special on brown bear tooth screws and ammonite washers.
May 8th, 2010 @5:56 pm
Perhaps the Skulls of some of those Icelandic Bankers. Big and empty and of no use other than foot retention on my Chromed MKS pedals.
May 8th, 2010 @6:26 pm
WSB: plastic clips are more flexible than metal, but don’t look as nice. It also depends how securely you want your feet attached. I was running full plastics and nylon straps, bolted to MKS Sylvan AR9s on Wasp for a while- dirt cheap but they do the job well. However, I’ve just fitted MKS steel cages with tasty leather straps, and boy do I love how they feel (and look) now. It’s all a matter of personal taste and preference really.
On to the bike: I love it! Pretty clean and tidy, must be used in town a lot due to risers. I’d lose most of the labels and fit Cinelli road bars, but that’s my preference. Cheers jq
May 9th, 2010 @1:27 am
You guys have way too much free time. I’ve been having a rotten week moving while my wife’s on vacation and this thread cheered me up before I slipped into an unconscious stupor and started all over again. Whiskey and beer have kept me going in blood, and the bikes have been fueling my mind. Cheers brothers.
May 9th, 2010 @4:50 am
Any time Luftie. I’m playing with denim again. Can’t afford whale scrotum or bits of Icelandic bankers. One of the wifes cats is seriously pissing me off and doesn’t know how close he is to becoming a fur donor to trim my lugs. Ha,ha.
May 9th, 2010 @6:34 am
One pussy is enough trouble in the House. Make a nice Chamois out of the other .
May 9th, 2010 @6:52 am
I am SO tempted sometimes. Got spray adhesive all over my fingers at the mo. Been covering forks in denim. It’s a challenge. Think the bike will have to be a pub cruiser when finished. Denim gets heavy when wet, so I don’t think I’ll be doing any long jaunts on it. It’s just for fun and show.
June 3rd, 2010 @6:35 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR8yYBL31o0
July 10th, 2010 @6:55 am
All kidding aside. I LOVE this bike. This thing is a confidence inspiring street rocket. Its slippery fast –in and around traffic, traffic lights and cabs. With race tires and a good headset it seems to peddle itself. I think the fit has a lot to do with and why I love being on it for hours on end. I must have been traumatized (over the years) by ill-fitting bikes. Also the set up is fairly relaxed. I know — I’m gushing.
July 10th, 2010 @7:30 am
gush away ,that is one sweet ride.And you are right about fit.Makes all the difference in the world.pure envy here.enjoy
July 10th, 2010 @11:58 am
Nice long reach stem on this bike. I recently changed one of mine to get more reach 110 mm. and it fits better now. I have concluded that a flat / straight bar is most comfy for me also. You must be around six feet tall judging by this set up. (sounds like you are 28 years old by your narrative but I recall more but so what)
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